Let life begin

Presidio, San Francisco, California

One day you'll wake up and say,
"This isn't life. This can't be all it's made out to be. There is so much more that I was born to experience and live for."

I was brought into this world to become someone great and I want nothing more than to touch the lives of many. It started with being burrowed deep in love with someone so incredible that it changed the way my life would play out for the next two years. Love, it makes you do crazy things. To go from receiving a lot of attention to no attention at all left me trying to find someone to fill empty place in my heart. Well, spoiler alert, I'm still waiting to find the one that'll love me just as much as I love them. 

Anyways, I can go on and on about love, but I'll leave that for February. I wandered off when this post was supposed to be about depression. Don't get me wrong they aren't horrible people. They showed me what it's like to get lost in an empty room. Every now and then I get a little down, especially because I want more from life. Well shit, I became so consumed with being in love that I still wasn't truly happy when I found someone that made me feel like anything was possible. In and out of relationships for 2 years and I stopped myself, especially after being hurt really bad and still not being able to get over it. I wanted to be on my own and be there for myself when I'm depressed. I wanted to be free. Not to say I wasn't happy with the relationships I've been in, but I wanted to live life, and travel, and just love myself first. Depression although wanted to hit me whenever I was at my highest point. I felt like there was no one I could really talk to that would just listen. I don't want to be told that I'm amazing, I'm smart, I'm the most incredible person that you've met. In a moment like this it seems to make matters worse for reasons I'm not even sure I can fully explain. I know what it's like to feel trapped inside the prison cell that depression creates. You don't want to get up, don't want to move, don't want to do anything. The feeling is almost paralyzing. You feel yourself slipping away and have no control of it. It took me up until now to stop myself from falling into the emotional abyss. I've learned to keep myself distracted. I'm constantly working and going to school, while balancing out adventures in my life. I find little ways out of reality to let my happiness roam. Just know your not alone and you are strong for fighting the battle because it's not easy. Keep going. Let 2016 be the year where all the pain ends and we find happiness entering the brand new year. There will be struggle because that's always a factor of life, but find people who can lift you up and realize there's so much more to life. Don't let anyone steal your time that you can spend being happy. I'm here for you.

"Pain is temporary it may last for a minute, an hour, a day, even a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take it's place. If I quit however it will last forever."

Love,

Enrike

P.S. My Advice Column is up. If you would like to ask any anonymous questions scroll down to the bottom of the Contacts page.